Birthdays

Birthdays are hard in foster care. That’s not a sentiment I thought I would feel on the first birthday after adoption but it just goes to show you that adoption doesn’t wipe that out. It doesn’t change their history or their past. It doesn’t change that I wasn’t there the day he was born. That I have no idea who was. I have no idea what that day looked like for his mom. I thought about that a lot today. Probably a little more so now that I’m expecting and starting to envision what that birth day will look like. But I don’t know a single thing about his and that’s hard. It’s hard to celebrate. And here is the thing he needed to have a birthday to get here. And I know that birthdays are also about celebrating the milestones of the last year, reflecting on the growth, celebrating our little one growing up and today was still all about those things but with a smidge of sadness for what I don’t know. A smidge of sadness for his mom today as I’m sure today feels heavy for her in unimaginable ways. A smidge of sadness for that part of him I can’t celebrate.

He makes up for it of course with the best smile, personality for days, and quirky little one liners that all have me enjoying every moment with him and so excited to continue to watch him grow.

Happy 3rd birthday little man!