Celebrate Her

Mother’s Day is always a hard one in the life of a foster mom. I’ve written about it on past mother’s days in hopes of finding some peace with all the feelings it brings for me, yet here I sit on the eve of yet another Mother’s Day and my heart is still so heavy. This Mother’s Day I’m not just a foster mom but now also an adoptive mom. That one comes with even heavier feelings for sure.

It has never been lost on me that I am the mom to children who had a mom before me. That there is a space I will never be able to fill, and that I don’t want to for their hearts. I keep such a special place in my heart for my kid’s moms because if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be a mom. The magnitude of that is not lost on me.

Tomorrow we will visit with baby C’s mom. Not our normal visit but I offered and when I asked if she wanted to see him on Mother’s Day she burst into tears. I think it’s easy for people outside of the foster community not to understand the love and compassion I could hold for this mom. I think it’s easy to assume if a child is in foster care their parents must be bad people. They aren’t, at least not the ones I’ve met. They are broken. They are lost. They are struggling. But they are still moms. She may have made some bad choices but maybe there weren’t any good ones. Maybe there was no support. No loving guidance to show her the way. I know I’d struggle to walk a day in her shoes, I can’t imagine a lifetime.

So tomorrow I will celebrate her. I will celebrate my mom. And I will celebrate the beautiful gift that I’ve been given to be chosen to be a mom.

All mother’s deserve to be celebrated no matter what season of motherhood they are in. No matter if they are biological, foster, adoptive or some wonderful version of something in between.