Bittersweet

Today is bitter sweet, as are most days as a foster parent. Under a unique set of circumstances I started supervising our weekly bio parent visitations for baby c back in November of last year. I had no idea when I started, I’d still be doing it almost 6 months later. This case had a lot of hope for a quick reunification when it started. But this week I had to make the hard decision to contact case management and let them know that I would no longer be supervising visitation.

Here’s the thing, while it didn’t start off as ideal, it has been such a great thing. It has given me the opportunity to connect with mom in a way I never imagine I would connect with a biological parent as a foster parent. We talk about the baby of course and their case but also what’s going on in our lives. It’s not nearly as ackward as I think people suspect it would be.

Ive gotten a lot of questions over the months from foster parents about the nitty gritty of supervising visits and all I can say is that it’s 100% worth it! But 6 months in and I’m tired. Ive had to adjust my work schedule, I’m behind at work, I’m missing out on crucial time with my kids and husband because of the time sacrifice AND as we near the year mark on our case, mom and I need some bigger boundaries.

I’m sad that I won’t get to watch her interact with him. Sad, that we won’t see each other often. Worried about him being transported by different people all the time. Worried he won’t be attended to on the very long drive here. Sad that her visits won’t be as intimate for her and will be much more invasive. But sometimes you have to make the hard choices for the right reasons and this is one of those times.