Blank Spaces

Today I got to proudly say your name and know that mine matches. I didn’t stumble when they asked me your birthday. I could answer every question, fill in every blank for mother’s health history, fathers health history, birth information, and extended family medical history. I knew every detail. There wasn’t an empty form staring back at me filled with blank spaces where I had to write ‘unknown’. Your story, your history is known. All of it, every detail.

That’s new for me as a mom. I haven’t had that experience yet. It’s cool to think that 3 kids in that there are still parenting experiences that I will have for the first time with you and yet on the other hand reminds me of what I don’t know for my other kiddos. Reminds me that some things I will never know.

It doesn’t feel different . I’m sure people are wondering that. If I feel a stronger bond with you, a bigger connection. But I don’t. I just feel love. Unconditional love. The same unconditional love that filled my heart when we got both of our other boys. The difference is in the little things. Things that people don’t even think about like blank spaces on medical forms. But today I’m grateful as no space was left empty, no detail unknown.