Pick Your Battles

I caught myself multiple times this weekend saying “no worries he’s fine”. He is my 3rd kid and honestly by the time you get to 3, pretty much anything goes. It’s not that I don’t care or I’m not concerned I promise you, the loving and protective parent is still in there but after 3 kids you learn not to stress about a lot of things and also 3 kids full you just don’t have the capacity to stress about a lot of things even if you wanted to. New parents watching me cringe. Yes, I let my kid eat the food off the floor, yes I let my kid chew on his shoe, I’m a firm believer they will nap when they nap and eat when they eat and a little dirt never hurt anyone. (For reference I’m a mom of 3 boys 4 and under so there is usually a lot of dirt).

I think about it a lot now. The way my kids act in public, the way I choose to parent. 5 years ago would have made me cringe on so many levels. There are days I wish I could care about all the little things but’s it’s just not feasible for me anymore, nor do I think it’s actually the best thing for my kids. My kids rearranged ottomans in the doctor’s waiting room last week, ate food off the floor at a restaurant, walked barefoot in public, played in the rain at the playground and that’s OK. They are ok, and I’m ok with that. Part of what comes off like a very nonchalant parenting approach is that I am simply overwhelmed and so I pick my battles but it’s also about parenting neurodivergent kids with invisible brain-based behavioral challenges. They require different so that looks different for each one of my kids. So, if you are looking at me and my kids and wondering why _____ (fill in the blank) it’s because that works for me and my family. I joke that if no one is screaming, crying, or bleeding then it’s all good. My stress level on any given day is crazy so I pick my battles as we all should. And here is the thing that is going to look so very different for each of us and every family. What a beautiful thing right?