Paper Work Like A Mortgage
Journal Entry from July 11, 2018
It's like a mortgage but worse. That's the best way to explain the paperwork involved in becoming a foster parent. Now, I am not saying that to deter anyone from the process but I do wish I had known. I guess I was slightly forewarned when I opened the package that came in the mail it came with a letter stating just that basically "don't let the paperwork deter you". Simple things really like a copy of social security card, bank statements, general questions about your home, and financials. Basically like applying for a mortgage and I know because I just did that about a year ago. Which I guess is good. They want to make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. They want to make sure your not in it for the money, which I get but still don't see how people do that. The paperwork feels cold and irrelevant. They want to know how much money is in my savings account and if anyone else lives in my home. They want to know what I do for a living, if I've been married or divorced, if I have access to a printer, if I speak English. It all just feels so cold. There are no questions on the form about what why I want to be a foster parent or if I can provide for a child or if I will love a child as if they were my own. No questions about why I want to be a mom just paperwork. Lots of paperwork.
It sat there for a while, longer than I'd like to admit. I jumped head-on into this process and then once the paperwork got here it sat here, staring at me. Like it knew that once it was opened I'd be opening a new door to my life that I wasn't 100% sure what would be on the other side. I was excited so I filled out the first page just my name and address basically and that dreaded question: married, single, divorced or widowed. I hate that question, I always have. I get it of course in this context but for someone who wanted to get married at 19 and is still single at 33, it just hits you like a ton of bricks every time you have to answer it. For me a little more so this time around I guess since this process for me is my reaction and approach to starting a family with or without someone else. But back to the paperwork. So I did the first page and then it sat there. And sat there. I opened it multiple times and looked at it and got overwhelmed with trying to get the necessary things together to complete it.
After weeks of looking at it, I had to admit to myself that I hadn't finished it for a reason. I was stalling. Not sure why I really am excited about this process. But the paperwork makes it official.